A conversation at the post office

Holly and Martyn arrive at Bangalore post office to send some parcels to friends and family back home. Holly takes a turn for the worst from the mornings breakfast of curry and pickle which leaves her with her head between her legs and turning a bit yellow whilst Martyn tackles the post office queue.

M: Hello Sir, I would like to send these parcels to the UK
PO: No Sir
M: Yes please Sir. These parcels here, from this post office, I want to send them to England.
PO: No possible here.
M: Where is it possible?
PO: Next counter.
M: Thank you.

Next counter

M: Hello Sir, I would like to send these parcels to the UK
PO: That will be 8000 rupess (holds out hands for parcels)
M: (Eyebrow raised) Don't you want to weigh them first?
PO: (Grabs parcels and throws them on the scale to weigh) 5000 rupees.
M: Is that the cheapest way to send them?
PO: Air mail. By sea maybe 2500 rupees.
M: I send by sea then please.
PO: Yes please, 5000 rupees.
M: No, I want to send by sea.
PO: Yes please, so air mail 5000 rupees
M: No. Sea. 2500 rupees... please.
PO: By sea you want to send for cheap?
M: Yes.
PO: Well is 3000 rupees.
M: (very very deep breath) Why 3000 rupees
PO: Large package cheaper by sea, small package cheaper by air.
M: So can I send large by sea please and small by air?
PO: Yes please, airmail 5000 rupees.

etc etc. for 15 minutes or so until finally post master and Martyn understand one another.

Post Master begins to stick stamps on to canvas package. They're not sticking.

M: Excuse me Sir, this will fall off.
PO: No Sir.
M: Yes Sir

Marty brushes stamps lightly with hand and it comes away - post master shrugs.

M: (in exasperation) Do you have any tape?
PO: Of course
M: Please, can I have some?

Post master hands it over. Marty sticks down stamps.

All done.

Post master throws parcels from a great height at floor. Martyn considers suggesting he might like to be more careful, but considering it is nearly dark and the little patience he has is quickly turning into fetid wrath, he goes to fetch a now green-around-the-gills Holly and leaves.